Life After the Carriage

"First comes love, then comes marriage; here comes 'Betty' pushing a baby carriage."

You remember the children's taunt that began with "'Bob' and 'Jill' sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g." As children we'd crank up that little jingle whenever a friend had a crush in order to embarrass them. For boys I'm sure that ditty always brought a blush of shame; for the girls, it was usually more a blush of excitement followed by a giggle of glee!

Well, now that we're moms; we're beyond this. We're living life after the carriage, so to speak. But, there are no straightforward, easy-to-follow guidelines for this stage set to a particular beat so we can remember them. We did okay with the checklist: Love, check. Marriage, check. Baby carriage, check!

Often, we as moms feel like we're aimlessly wandering around looking for some direction as our newborn screams his head off for no apparent reason for hours on end or our toddler pitches a fit when we try to help her get food to her mouth or our five-year-old refuses to eat his vegetables and drink his milk or our teenager's hair is suddenly spikey and hot pink.

I have never felt as stupid, inadequate and lost as I did right after Allie was born. I questioned EVERYTHING! I even wondered--yes, I know this is ridiculous; don't laugh too hard--if it was okay for me to wear deodorant while I was nursing. I know my armpit really isn't that close to my milk supply; but, at the time, my sleep-deprived mind frantically thought Allie would ingest the deodorant and die. (Okay, maybe I didn't really think anything that extreme, but you get the point.)

How do we bathe her? How in the world are we supposed to clip the fingernails on something so tiny? Do we use powder when we change her diaper or not? What in the heck are we supposed to do when she cries constantly for three hours every night? Will I ever sleep again? How can I function on no sleep? Will I ever be able to leave the house again/will she ever nurse for less than 22 of the 24 hours in a day? Will I ever be able to eat my dinner in peace? Will she ever get on a some sort of schedule that includes naps in her crib instead of my arms? Will I ever feel like ME again?

So many questions on this side of the carriage. All the children's rhymes in the world can't prepare a mother for her job. Even with the best advice from other mom friends, we still can't be fully prepared for every situation or know what to do when faced with each question of motherhood that arises. Every child is different; every situation is different. We have to learn as we go and remember to be flexible and patient.

We'll all make mistakes. That's inevitable. But, we have to do what we think is best for our children in every situation. As long as we do that and blanket our little ones with love, we're going to make it through life after the carriage!