I want to share my three favorite "mommy links" with you:
http://www.babiesandmomsradio.com/
http://www.mom4life.com/
http://blog.mom4life.com/
Around the time Allie was seven or eight months old, and I was at my lowest point; I discovered Babies and Moms Radio. I don't remember where I discovered them, but when I did I signed up for their podcasts. It took me a while to "get around" to listening to them. When I did, I suddenly felt like I wasn't alone in this whole "mom thing." These moms talked about real issues and activities they faced or did with their own children: teething woes and sign language with babies are the two topics that come to mind.
One of the topics stood out to me above the others, but I kept finding reasons not to listen to it. The title was "Postpartum Depression." Whenever I would glance over it I would have thoughts like: "I'm not depressed." "That's not a real thing." "Depression is a sign of weakness, and I'm not weak." "If I admit I'm depressed, I'll have to do something about it." "If I tell anyone I'm depressed, I'll have to go to a doctor; and he'll want me to get on some kind of drugs."
Well, I finally listened to it. I can't tell you what they said. I don't remember a single word. All I remember was thinking, "I'm not the only woman who struggles with these feelings?!?!?!?" A couple of the moms who host the show spoke of their own postpartum issues. That put a personal, real-life spin on it for me.
Listening to that podcast was the beginning of better times for me. Believe me, I still struggle--every day (sometimes, every minute); but at least I know now that I'm not alone.
I think the biggest frustration for me was looking around me at all these other moms who seemed to have no problem with everything. They seemed to have it all together. Not one of the many new mothers around me (I live in the "fertile" Triangle of North Carolina) talked about struggling with depression or hating being cooped up in a house all day with an often-screaming baby or resenting the physical torture you go through with delivery and breastfeeding, not to mention the extreme exhaustion from sleepless nights. NO ONE TALKED ABOUT IT; so I thought I must be the only one, and something must be wrong with me. I was obviously a terrible, unfit mother.
Anyway, the Babies and Moms Radio site led me to Mom4Life. A few brief moments of browsing at the online store had me hooked! They sell products by moms, for moms. Plus, they have free shipping AND 10 percent of every sale's proceeds goes to a pregnancy care center--now that's shopping I can get on board with (and not feel guilty)!
Soon after I discovered Mom4Life, I found Heather Ledeboer's blog. Heather is the site's owner, and one of the most remarkable, godly women I've had the privilege of "meeting" in cyberspace. Her third child, Sawyer, was born on May 10 of this year. Though his birth was beautiful and remarkable, Sawyer wasn't able to greet his family with the cry they had longed to hear. They learned a few days before he was born that his heart was no longer beating, just three weeks shy of his due date.
I have kept up with her blog posts as she has been candid and open for the whole world to see. She has shone with the love and peace of God with a faith that could only come from an almighty, sovereign Creator. Though she has cried and questioned the whys of this tragic loss; she has also rejoiced in people who have found hope through her words or comfort in their own times of loss or--and here's the best part--have come to know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior! Sawyer may have never drawn a breath outside the womb on this earth, but his life was not in vain.
Anyway, I wanted to share these awesome sites with you. If you plan on going back and reading Heather's blog from the beginning of the end of Sawyer's earthly life (and I hope you do), I would encourage you to grab a huge box of tissues! I've shed many a tear at my computer over her words through the past five months, but I wouldn't take any of them back.
I want to say a special thanks to Heather Ledeboer for taking the time to read this blog before I posted it and for allowing me to share a little bit of her story. You're such an inspiration, Heather!!
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Toughest, Best Job on Earth
Motherhood doesn't come with a manual. In the morning, a mom doesn't wake up and roll over to find a detailed account of how to tackle each situation of the day ahead alongside her coffee mug.
Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home mom or a career mom, the fact remains you have to juggle at least three jobs: wife, mom and household coordinator. The function of a coordinator means you have to keep up with everyone's schedules, manage the meals, get the groceries, handle the bills, keep up with the laundry and clean the house (among other things). That's a full-time job right there.
Our society looks down on the importance and difficulty involved in being a mother. Stay-at-home moms especially find themselves shunned and/or scrutinized for the decision they made to make their child or children their sole focus. What could they possibly have to do all day beside sit on the sofa watching soap operas and eating bon-bons. And, most people don't see any difference between a stay-at-home mom and a work-at-home mom; so the women in that category get the same reactions.
Then, you have the working mom. Well, she gets the jabs from both sides: she needs to pour it all into her job to climb that ladder; and she needs to have the perfect kids and be the perfect mom who's always there for every PTA meeting, recital or game.
What people who aren't moms don't realize is the job of mother, by itself, is THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD. If anyone wants to disagree, I'd be happy to give them a moment-by-moment glimpse into my day--and I only have one child right now!
Children require total emotional, physical and mental focus throughout the day. Even when their children are tucked away in dreamland, moms replay decisions they made throughout the day, fretting over whether they chose correctly or not. Even in their sleep, moms dream they're feeding their children, dressing them, going through the routine of potty training, packing their bags and putting them together to go to the store, etc.
Being a mom is the only true 24/7/365 job. I have to be honest; I struggled with motherhood when I first had Allie. I'm sure I will dedicate later posts to that topic. I'll never forget the day it hit me that I'll never have another day off and can't call in sick. Man, did that set me into a nosedive!!
Even women blessed with the most supportive and helpful of husbands (like me) get overwhelmed at the fact that so many things rely on them. Allie wants Me to read her bedtime stories; Allie prefers sometimes for ME to take her to the potty; Allie often fusses unless she gets her dinner from ME. Plus, moms just KNOW where things go, why little ones are fussy and where the monsters hide. We understand that the pink cup is for breakfast and the blue cup is for going out to a restaurant, although it makes no sense to anyone else.
So, I write all this to encourage moms everywhere that you are amazing! You have the toughest job on the planet and juggle it with at least a couple more full-time jobs. How you do it, I'll never understand; but I do know that your job will have eternal results because you are molding, loving and training tomorrow's leaders--tell that to the CEO of some big stuffy company who wants to look down his nose at you when he learns you're "just a mom!" I don't think his million-dollar bank account and mansion with all the latest electronics can compete with eternity:)
Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home mom or a career mom, the fact remains you have to juggle at least three jobs: wife, mom and household coordinator. The function of a coordinator means you have to keep up with everyone's schedules, manage the meals, get the groceries, handle the bills, keep up with the laundry and clean the house (among other things). That's a full-time job right there.
Our society looks down on the importance and difficulty involved in being a mother. Stay-at-home moms especially find themselves shunned and/or scrutinized for the decision they made to make their child or children their sole focus. What could they possibly have to do all day beside sit on the sofa watching soap operas and eating bon-bons. And, most people don't see any difference between a stay-at-home mom and a work-at-home mom; so the women in that category get the same reactions.
Then, you have the working mom. Well, she gets the jabs from both sides: she needs to pour it all into her job to climb that ladder; and she needs to have the perfect kids and be the perfect mom who's always there for every PTA meeting, recital or game.
What people who aren't moms don't realize is the job of mother, by itself, is THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD. If anyone wants to disagree, I'd be happy to give them a moment-by-moment glimpse into my day--and I only have one child right now!
Children require total emotional, physical and mental focus throughout the day. Even when their children are tucked away in dreamland, moms replay decisions they made throughout the day, fretting over whether they chose correctly or not. Even in their sleep, moms dream they're feeding their children, dressing them, going through the routine of potty training, packing their bags and putting them together to go to the store, etc.
Being a mom is the only true 24/7/365 job. I have to be honest; I struggled with motherhood when I first had Allie. I'm sure I will dedicate later posts to that topic. I'll never forget the day it hit me that I'll never have another day off and can't call in sick. Man, did that set me into a nosedive!!
Even women blessed with the most supportive and helpful of husbands (like me) get overwhelmed at the fact that so many things rely on them. Allie wants Me to read her bedtime stories; Allie prefers sometimes for ME to take her to the potty; Allie often fusses unless she gets her dinner from ME. Plus, moms just KNOW where things go, why little ones are fussy and where the monsters hide. We understand that the pink cup is for breakfast and the blue cup is for going out to a restaurant, although it makes no sense to anyone else.
So, I write all this to encourage moms everywhere that you are amazing! You have the toughest job on the planet and juggle it with at least a couple more full-time jobs. How you do it, I'll never understand; but I do know that your job will have eternal results because you are molding, loving and training tomorrow's leaders--tell that to the CEO of some big stuffy company who wants to look down his nose at you when he learns you're "just a mom!" I don't think his million-dollar bank account and mansion with all the latest electronics can compete with eternity:)
Friday, October 3, 2008
Identity Crisis
Who am I? I've asked myself that question so many times throughout my life. We live in a culture where, to some extent, a person's identity and the answer to that question define their worth and station in society.
Moms struggle with identities fused with their husbands' and kids'. They're called "Bob's wife" and "Susie's mom." They remember life before "Bob" and "Susie"--when they were their own person; when they were known as "Sally, the great cook" or "Annie, the amazing lawyer" or "Betty, the greatest teacher ever."
But at the end of the day--when all the little ones are tucked into bed, dinner's put away, the house is put back in some semblance of order, and she's laying next to "Bob"--she knows she'd wouldn't want to be called by any other names than the ones she answers to now.
When we're known as someone's wife or someone's mother, it means we're regarded with honor at the way we support our husbands or care for our children. Our commitment and dedication to them is noticed and admired by those titles. It means we're doing our jobs!
Once we get to the place where we can embrace this and understand the beauty of it, we'll be happier and feel more satisfied in our station of life and in the jobs we proudly hold.
I admit, I struggle daily with this and many other things; but I'm working on it. That's part of what this blog is about; it's me "figuring it all out" in the only way I know how: By writing out my thoughts. My hope is that you will find help in "figuring it all out" as you read and react to my posts.
We're all on a journey together. It's a rough road, but it leads somewhere--somewhere eternal. When we find our ultimate identity in God, that's when we find true peace and contentment. This is the identity that truly matters, much more than our identities as wives and mothers.
Actually, it sounds pretty good to be called "Molly, daughter of the King;" don't you think?
Moms struggle with identities fused with their husbands' and kids'. They're called "Bob's wife" and "Susie's mom." They remember life before "Bob" and "Susie"--when they were their own person; when they were known as "Sally, the great cook" or "Annie, the amazing lawyer" or "Betty, the greatest teacher ever."
But at the end of the day--when all the little ones are tucked into bed, dinner's put away, the house is put back in some semblance of order, and she's laying next to "Bob"--she knows she'd wouldn't want to be called by any other names than the ones she answers to now.
When we're known as someone's wife or someone's mother, it means we're regarded with honor at the way we support our husbands or care for our children. Our commitment and dedication to them is noticed and admired by those titles. It means we're doing our jobs!
Once we get to the place where we can embrace this and understand the beauty of it, we'll be happier and feel more satisfied in our station of life and in the jobs we proudly hold.
I admit, I struggle daily with this and many other things; but I'm working on it. That's part of what this blog is about; it's me "figuring it all out" in the only way I know how: By writing out my thoughts. My hope is that you will find help in "figuring it all out" as you read and react to my posts.
We're all on a journey together. It's a rough road, but it leads somewhere--somewhere eternal. When we find our ultimate identity in God, that's when we find true peace and contentment. This is the identity that truly matters, much more than our identities as wives and mothers.
Actually, it sounds pretty good to be called "Molly, daughter of the King;" don't you think?
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